| Your Sexy Brazilian Name Is |
 Joelma Verga |
| You Are 22 Years Old |
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| Your IQ Is 105 |
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Part Freaky Kisser |
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Part Expert Kisser |
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The True You |
| You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to do more for you. |
| With respect to money, you spend carefully and save your pennies. |
| You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities. |
| The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort. |
| You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. |
| When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends. |
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| Your Japanese Name Is... |
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| Your Irish Name Is... |
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Kim Megan Giles's Aliases |
| Your movie star name: Dorito's Benjamin |
| Your fashion designer name is Kim Milan |
| Your socialite name is Kimmy Amsterdam |
| Your fly girl / guy name is K Gil |
| Your detective name is Tiger Applecross Senior |
| Your barfly name is Shrimp Vodka |
| Your soap opera name is Megan Dunlin |
| Your rock star name is M&m's Tiger |
| Your star wars name is Kimzac Gilzee |
| Your punk rock band name is The Mellow Urn |
| In 1988 (the year you were born) |
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Ronald Reagan is president of the US Federal grand juries return indictments against Gen. Manuel Noriega, ruler of Panama, charging him of running drug cartels A missile, fired from the US Navy warship Vincennes destroys a commercial Iranian airliner killing all 290 on board A Pan-am Boeing 747 explodes over Lockerbie, Scotland from a terrorist bomb Controversial Arizona Governor Evan Mecham is removed from office for financial misdeed Jimmy Swaggart is defrocked when his sexual liaisons with women other than his wife are revealed The Netherlands becomes the second country to get connected to the Internet Al-Qaida is established by Osama bin Laden Los Angeles Dodgers win the World Series Washington Redskins win Superbowl XXII Edmonton Oilers win the Stanley Cup Rain Man is the top grossing film A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking is published "Faith" by George Michael spends the most time at the top of the US charts |
Your Slanguage Profile |
| Canadian Slang: 75% |
| Aussie Slang: 50% |
| British Slang: 50% |
| New England Slang: 50% |
| Prison Slang: 50% |
| Victorian Slang: 25% |
| Southern Slang: 0% |
| You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream |
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| You Know You're Malaysian When.... |
| You complain about the quality of the pirated DVD you just purchased. "What, RM10 for DVD5?! Aiyah, boss ... sound no good, cheaperlah ..." You're willing to consume sambal petai and durian and gladly suffer the bloating and wind-breaking incidents. You're exceedingly polite to the Mat Sallehs but you slag your own kind. "Hello, sir. Why don't you sit here, it?s got the best view of the city skyline." But, "Aunty-ah, your table is over there next to the kitchen." You order Maggi goreng and fried chicken, complain about how oily the food is, and then proceed to finish it anyway. You love to talk about food. You're already thinking about what to have for dinner while eating lunch. "I'm stuffed. What shall we have for dinner?" You dive into a communal-style meal the moment the dish lands on the table only to hesitate at the last morsel of food on the serving dish. There are two possible explanations for this: the first is the pai seh (embarrassed) factor, while the other is the myth that the person who eats the last piece will be a spinster. You hit the accelerator the moment the first drop of rain hits your windshield. "Alamak, it's going to rain. Sure traffic jam one. I'd better drive faster." You seize the opportunity to make a U-turn anywhere ... especially where there is a sign telling you not to. Well, so long as the cops aren't in sight. You feel a burning desire to send text messages and even have the gall to give your friend a blow-by-blow account of the movie to your friend on the handphone ? during the screening of the movie. "Okay, now that girl Lizzie is impersonating an Italian singer; she so doesn?t look Italian ..." You forsake your loved ones for the all-important four letter-word: S-A-L-E. "Sorry, mum, I can't take you to Aunt Mary?s because I have to go to MidValley before the crowd." You?re also more than happy to be part of the insane traffic jam that forms around malls during weekends and sale periods. 11. Reality shows Akademi Fantasia and Malaysian Idol dictate your social life. "What, no TV at the mamak? Count me out ? I'm staying home. Rinie needs my support." You pepper every sentence with lah. "No-lah, I can't see you today-lah. I have to study-lah. You know-lah, the prison warden aka mak is watching me like a hawk" You fail to function normally without your daily dose of teh tarik and nasi lemak. You have owned at least one Proton in your lifetime. Cheap, cheap. That is until you start to make enough dough to buy that Honda you've been salivating over. You slow down at an accident site to take down the car number plate, but won't step out of your car to help ? the victim could be a robber! You'd rather park your car along the main road outside the mall, where there's a yellow line, rather than pay RM1 to park inside where there are adequate bays. You plead, bat your eyelids and relate a sob story to the officer at the town council office to let you off the hook (or reduce the amount considerably) for the fine you incurred when you parked your car on the double line. You make an appointment for 10am and conveniently show up a half hour late ? Malaysian time, what ... You pop open the wet tissue packet at the Chinese restaurant by squeezing the trapped air to the top of the packet before proceeding to smash your fist into it. The louder the pop the better. You greet your friend / neighbor / acquaintance on the street with "How are things?" or "Have you eaten?" or better yet, by stating the obvious: "Went to market ah?" Ramlee burger is the "piece de resistance" of your growing-up-years cuisine. You catch all major televised events at the mamak. You have roughly six meals a day (breakfast, mid-morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper). Then there's the snacking ? keropok ikan, pisang goreng, muruku, jam tarts and the like. You get the whole family dressed to the nines, jump into the car and head for the minister's open house ? and ask for styrofoam boxes and plastic bags to tar pau food. Your accent and language style vary according to the race of the person you are conversing with. You've got a friendly disposition. Smiles are abundant and your "Apa khabar?" is warm and sincere. You exclaim loudly how expensive everything is, even though the items may in fact be going for a steal. "Wah! So expensive, ah? Hak sei ngor (Scare me to death)!" You dig deep into your pockets to contribute to the latest appeal for donations in the newspapers. You "dis" our country all the time, but as soon as something good happens (like winning the Thomas Cup), you morph into a proud Malaysian. You never travel abroad without a bottle of chilli sauce, or sachets which you can sneak into restaurants. You're proud to be Malaysian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Malaysian friends! |
| You Know You're From Australia When... |
| Your next door neighbours can be from Tunisia, Israel, Indonesia, Japan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Brazil, Spain, Malaysia... The community is so concerned over the fact that muslim women can't use public swimming pools because there are men present that they have female-only periods. The Greeks and Mexicans next door ask you over to have a barbeque. You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'. You sleep with Aeroguard on. You're wearing a cap emblazoned with 'Get A Dog Up Ya.' You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it. You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols. You think Tall Poppy Syndrome is a national condition. Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard. Your idea of a lethal weapon is a slug gun. The closest you ever got to going overseas was your packet of 5 Days In Rio grundies. A posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet. The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs. Your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!" All of your internationally famous people don't live here. You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't). You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates? You don't drink Fosters, but you let the world think you do. The only thing better than beating the Pohms at ANY sport is giving them shit for it. You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.' You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities. You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer. Driving down the main street/beach road playing bad techno is your idea of a perfect Saturday night / Sunday arvo. You make kooky films, sometimes about wayward road trips (across the outback preferably). Quite a few are crap. You know all the words to Khe Sahn but not the national anthem. Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'. You have a customised stubby holder. Your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK. You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it. Your cooking apron has plastic breasts on it. The "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past. The blokes at the local gym think your weight training is an opportunity to ask you out on a date. The big national sporting events are men-only. Your politicians believe than sticking the prefix 'un' in front of your nationality is an effective way of making you sit down and shut up. Our mantras are 'fair go for all', 'mateship' and 'little Aussie battler' - but we still publicly condemn those with different viewpoints to us. The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads. 'Fair go for all' excludes indigenous people. An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive. You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all Poms and Kiwis are fair game. You insist on asking every celebrity who steps of an aircraft what they think of Australia. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule. The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories. Slick pick-up lines like 'Wanna shag?' and 'Carn, show us yer tits' can constitute male-to-female conversation. You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not. You realise you have no Bill of Rights. The first thing guaranteed to get eaten at parties is fairy bread. So that's the special ingredients that make up an Aussie - whatever your taste. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Austrailia. |
